~Matrimony in Real Time~

Not love – though veritable and worthy it is; not partnering – though it could use a little clarifying; not even marrying, though it grows scarcer and scarcer.

No, this is about the alchemy, the shape shift, the confabulation of that moment when every possibility that loomed in potential is sheared off for the sake of one actual here and now labour of the human heart. This is a moment that working cultures craft for the sake of their ancestors, for the sake of the not yet born, for the sake of a better day. It is the wrangling of strangerhood, the employment of besottedness, the bricks and mortar of radical hospitality and the spirit etiquette of trade. This will be a steep climb up the rocky path of Old Order Matrimony.

March 21-22, 2026

Live in-person event with Stephen Jenkinson
in Victoria BC, Canada
$250 CAD for Canadian residents
$250 USD for international folks

This event is now sold out. To be added to a waitlist, please email khadija@orphanwisdom.com

Stephen Jenkinson has invited Karen Paule, one of the Grandmothers of Ceremony from the Orphan Wisdom wedding days and Sean Aiken, someone Stephen married, as his honored guests for this event.

Karen and Stephen at the Orphan Wisdom Hall in 2016

“Now that the lover’s vows include ‘Safety first; Then me; Then you’, we’ll be swimming upstream”.

In the wake of Stephen’s new book Matrimony: Ritual, Culture and the Heart’s Work, this is one of only two events in Canada to mark this occasion.

Details

This is an in-person event, come join us, there is no online option
Three sessions with Stephen and his honored guests
There’ll be no refunds
Location: Church of Truth, Victoria, BC, Canada. This is a small intimate venue (directions and parking instructions included in confirmation email for attendees)

Stephen, Master of Ceremonies for Sean and Danielle’s Wedding

Event Times

Saturday, March 21st: 10am doors, event 10:30am-12noon
And 4pm doors, event 4:30-6pm
Sunday, March 22nd: doors 1:30pm, event 2-3:30pm
with book signing to follow

“What’s the dilemma with the “celebration of love”? It’s more about what it isn’t than what it is. It’s a stamp of approval, a set piece designed to acknowledge a fact that already exists: the relationship between two people. You don’t need a ritual to acknowledge the obvious”.

Stephen Jenkinson, MTS, MSW
~ Culture activist / farmer / author ~

Stephen teaches internationally and has authored seven books of cultural critique. He is the creator and principal instructor of the Orphan Wisdom School, co-founded with his wife Nathalie Roy in 2010. The School’s new project, The Scriptorium (2025), is creating an archive and library of his life’s work.

Apprenticed to a master storyteller as a young man, he worked extensively with dying people and their families. He is a former programme director in a major Canadian hospital and former assistant professor in a prominent Canadian medical school. Stephen has Masters’ degrees from Harvard University (Theology) and the University of Toronto (Social Work).

In 2023 Stephen received a Distinguished Alumni Honours Award from Harvard University for “helping people navigate grief, exploring the liminal space between life and death, and connecting humanity through ceremony and storytelling.”

In August 2025, Sounds True released Stephen’s newest book: Matrimony: Ritual, Culture, and the Heart’s Work.

He is also the author of Reckoning (co-written with Kimberly Ann Johnson in 2022), A Generation’s Worth: Spirit Work While the Crisis Reigns (2021), Come of Age: The Case for Elderhood in a Time of Trouble (2018), the award-winning Die Wise: A Manifesto for Sanity and Soul (2015), Homecoming: The Haiku Sessions (a live teaching from 2013), How it All Could Be: A workbook for dying people and those who love them (2009), Angel and Executioner: Grief and the Love of Life (a live teaching from 2009), and Money and the Soul’s Desires: A Meditation (2002). He was a contributing author to Palliative Care – Core Skills and Clinical Competencies (2007).

Since co-founding the Nights of Grief and Mystery project with singer/ songwriter Gregory Hoskins in 2015, he has toured this musical/ tent show revival/ storytelling/ ceremony of a show across North America, U.K., Ireland, Israel, Australia and New Zealand. They released their first Nights of Grief & Mystery album in 2017, and at the end of 2020 released two new records: Dark Roads and Rough Gods. A new album release is planned for 2025.

Stephen Jenkinson is also the subject of the feature length documentary film Griefwalker (National Film Board of Canada, 2008, dir. Tim Wilson), a portrait of his work with dying people, and Lost Nation Road, a shorter documentary on the crafting of the Nights of Grief and Mystery tours (2019, dir. Ian Mackenzie). Recently Mattias Olsson, a Swedish filmmaker released Murmurings of the Land (2025 Campfire Stories).

He was a stone sculptor turned wood-carver, and learned the arts of traditional birch bark canoe building. His first house won a Governor General’s Award for architecture. He now lives on a small scale organic farm in an off-grid straw bale house. The 120 year old abandoned granary from across the river which appeared in Griefwalker was dismantled last year and re-erected at the Orphan Wisdom farm, where it is again a working barn.

Karen Paule is a professional gardener, eco-activist, mother, and grandmother. Her work with the soil and plants in the verdant Pacific Northwest, cultivated her deep love and appreciation for a natural order of life.

A serious illness that resulted in a desire to grapple with mortality led her to the Orphan Wisdom school where she’s studied since 2010. Here she not only immersed herself in learning about a life that includes death, but also that very vital part of the human life cycle: matrimony.

Her work has included caring for elderly neighbors and parents, attending to deaths and births and officiating weddings; all of which are inextricably woven into a sometimes threadbare, often wonky, but mostly gorgeous whole.

Sean Aiken is a bestselling author with Penguin Random House and a TEDx speaker who has shared his work with audiences across North America and Europe. An Associate Professor and founding team member at Wayfinding College in Portland, Oregon, he is also the Co-Founder of the Rad Dad Collective, an initiative supporting the wellbeing of fathers and their families.

Since joining the Orphan Wisdom School in 2014, Sean has been a devoted student of Stephen Jenkinson’s work – often following him from event to event, whether selling books at the back, diligently taking notes in the front, or serving as a self-designated “roadie” on his 2015 UK tour. In 2017, Stephen officiated the wedding of Sean and his wife, Danielle – one of many ceremonies that continue to shape an enduring apprenticeship and friendship that has profoundly impacted Sean’s life and way of being in the world.

“The root condition of matrimony is what I call the sacraments of trade. Commerce asks: how much can I get for how little I pay? Trade asks: how can our exchange elevate our mutual ancestries? Matrimony is the cultural act where ancestors see themselves continued among the living.”